The Problems in Solving Problems

We often find ourselves trying to solve problems by searching for solutions, fixing what is wrong, or trying to make the problem disappear. Often, this works. But other times, our attempts to solve the problem actually make it worse.

Think of a stain on a shirt. You notice it and immediately start rubbing at it, only to watch the smudge grow larger. The instinct to fix it makes sense. The problem is that sometimes the fixing becomes part of the problem.

This idea appears throughout Eastern philosophy, particularly Taoism: not every difficulty responds to greater effort or control. Sometimes clarity comes from understanding what kind of problem we are actually dealing with.

One useful way of thinking about this is to separate problems into three categories: puzzles, challenges, and entanglements.

Puzzles

A puzzle is a problem that may have a solution, but we don't necessarily have enough information to find it yet.

Our anxiety often tells us that we need an answer right now. But some problems require patience, reflection, and time.

Should I leave this job?
Is this relationship right for me?
What direction do I want my life to take?

Sometimes we simply don't know until we know.

There is a Taoist image of muddy water becoming clear when it is allowed to become still. Constantly stirring the water doesn't make it clearer. In the same way, repeatedly analyzing a problem doesn't always bring us closer to an answer.

Some puzzles require us to think. Others require us to wait.

Challenges

Challenges are different. These are the problems that require action, effort, courage, or persistence.

This is the traditional movie trope: I must defeat Darth Vader, and then I can bring peace to the universe.

There is an obstacle in front of us, and something needs to be done about it.

Maybe you need to have a difficult conversation. Maybe you need to study for an exam, apply for a new job, set a boundary, or make a change you've been avoiding.

Challenges often require us to do something.

Interestingly, these are sometimes the problems we understand best. The obstacle may be difficult, but at least we know where the fight is.

Entanglements

Entanglements are different.

These are the problems that can become particularly relevant in depression, anxiety, OCD, and addiction because they often disguise themselves as puzzles or challenges.

An entanglement is like a fly caught in a spiderweb. The fly's instinct is completely understandable: struggle harder and get out.

But the harder it struggles, the more tangled it becomes.

This is what makes entanglements so confusing. Our instincts tell us to keep solving, analyzing, checking, fighting, controlling, or escaping. Yet eventually the solution becomes part of the problem.

Think about an OCD rumination demanding an answer to a question that never quite feels answered. Or using a substance to escape painful emotions, only to find that the substance creates more suffering. Or repeatedly returning to a relationship that you know continues to hurt you.

The mind says:

Just figure this out.

Just check one more time.

Just get reassurance.

Just make this feeling go away.

And yet every attempt to finally resolve the problem pulls us deeper into it.

An entanglement does not necessarily need a better solution.

Sometimes, it needs to be let go.

That doesn't mean the thoughts, feelings, cravings, or uncertainty immediately disappear. It means we stop giving the entanglement the struggle it requires to keep us trapped.

Knowing What You're Dealing With

The important question, then, isn't simply:

How do I solve this problem?

It may be:

What kind of problem is this?

Is this a puzzle that requires patience and reflection?

Is this a challenge that requires action and courage?

Or is this an entanglement where my continued attempts to solve the problem are actually keeping me stuck?

In my work with clients, this distinction can become incredibly useful. Sometimes we recognize that we've reached a dead end because we are dealing with an entanglement. At other times, within that very same situation, we discover something concrete that can be approached as a puzzle or challenge.

We don't have to treat every problem the same way.

Some problems ask us to wait.

Some ask us to act.

And some ask us to let go.

Think about the problems occupying your mind right now.

Which ones actually need to be solved?

And which ones might become lighter when you stop trying so hard to solve them?